Bittersweet

The last time I saw Julia was at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, about three hours away before she stepped into her plane going to the Americas. I was her last send-off, and I was priviledged to have been there to see her go. She was full of uncertainty then. I remember her restlessness, maybe both of excitement and anxiety to face another country, another culture, another set of experiences. But she is this kind of person who has full of plans and ideas for the kind of life she wants to have, and I thought this new adventure will bring her to what she wants for herself and her family. I was happy, though bittersweet, to see her go.

Now I see her walking down the aisle together with ther parents in her wedding dress with a big smile on her face; walking toward this person quite unknown to me, but one whom she knows quite well. Instead of the uncertainty I saw the last time, today I see her face full of happiness; the triumph of conquering a foreign place, a foreign culture; an embrace of a new life.

I couldn't help but feel the closing of another chapter in my life. My bestfriend has married and has stepped into another level I'm unfamiliar with. Sure there would always be emails and phone calls and cards during special occasions, but things would never be the same. Her priorities now would not be the same as mine. I mourn for the loss of the old Julia I know. Now I would have to adjust to the new one. :-)

In three weeks, she would be leaving for the Americas again. It was bittersweet when I saw her leave five years ago. It was this same bittersweet feeling I felt when I left her after the wedding celebration.

Then I was gone, on my way home to my family.

Life is as it should be.

Home

I have a technical job. At work, the male-female ratio is 5:1; and that's just in the central office where I work. If I consider the whole organization, the ratio would almost be about 20:1. It's a pretty tough place but it's great. :-)

I do enjoy my work. I get to try and match my capabilities with my male counterparts and I believe I have done a pretty good job. What else would I be trying to do after 8 years here? I have come to consider my work home away from home. And it's because I'm happy with it.

And then come those times of the year when I literally GO home. Ahhh... the feeling is just unexplainable. A week before those days, I already get giddy with excitement, smile with no apparent reason, feel really light-hearted. Absolutely nothing can spoil my day; well, almost absolutely nothing... But as GnR said it, "Every life has its thorn", right? ... or was it 'rose'?

My point is that I have found two homes. One is with my family in the province: my mom, my brother & his wife & his two daughters (oh those cute nieces of mine!). This home is my vacation home; my source of energy when I'm stressed with work, my quiet sanctuary. I may not always get along well with my mom when I'm there, but I wouldn't exchange those precious times of the year when I can be with my family. There other is at work in the city: my loud boss, my mischievous officemates, and my drinking and/or playing buddies. This is the life that I have created for myself, an indication of what I've learned thoughout the years, a manifestation of who I've become.

I'm happy with both worlds. That is why I call them both Home.